Top Dating Apps to Meet New People

* **My date:** Things like first date etiquette and what to do when your date is late are covered in Chapter 7.
* **Partner’s date:** Staying in shape can be half the battle in finding love. The best way to do it is to be _really_ in shape—cardio-wise—after a relationship has already started. You want to be able to participate in sex, exercise, and other fun activities without feeling like you’re going to collapse at any moment from exhaustion. To do this you need to start thinking about fitness when you start a relationship and make a commitment to consistent workouts, healthy eating, and being active. If you’re a man, though, don’t forget to consider how _not_ being in shape affects your future as well—including your dating life.
* **Dealing with a dysfunctional family:** As you’re dating someone new, you’ll most likely realize that you may have some family traits that are causing you problems. This means you’ll likely encounter situations where a parent, sibling, or even a friend may not be letting you do or say things you want to. This doesn’t mean your future partner isn’t capable of supporting you through any issues, but in the early stages of a relationship it can be a source of tension. Try to develop a solid understanding of how to handle these situations before they come up so you won’t be taken aback and react poorly.
* **Is he cheating?** There are few things more heartbreaking than realizing that your potential new love interest has been cheating on you—or someone else. It’s so easy to look at all the ways that our current partners aren’t perfect, and start thinking about how you can do this. This is completely understandable, but taking this approach can lead you to the conclusion that your partner is so horrid that he or she could never be truly committed to you. Remember this: you haven’t had a relationship with this person for very long. With a bit of time, and some practice, you’ll have a better sense of how to know when your new partner is truly giving you the time and attention you deserve.


## Dates

If you’re newly dating, you might start a relationship with the best intentions, but inevitably the date will go in one of two ways: you’ll fall madly in love with your new potential partner, or you’ll end the night feeling like you spent more time socializing than actually connecting with
We’re no longer dating when we meet someone we want to date. “Dating” means meeting someone you want to set up with your friends.

Even if the three of you are all college classmates, the fact that you all know each other means that you’re no longer just “dating,” you’re fucking. “Dating” means meeting someone you want to set up with your friends.

Since all three of you were friends before you began dating, you have a history you can call upon to help you make sense of the new situation. When you meet someone you want to date, you’re not just “dating” but you’re fucking and you’re going to have sex. You’re a major player.

What You Can Do to Improve Your Prospects for Finding the Right Guy at the Right Time

So how do you do it? It takes a little patience, and it also helps to maintain a sense of the ridiculousness of the situation. It’s even a good idea to come up with a “game plan” before you meet someone—impress that someone as much as possible. You need to be prepared to act like you’re not acting like you’re acting. What’s most important is that you treat your future mate the way he or she wants to be treated: like a quasi-romantic object, which is to say like a “cute” and “sweet” person whom you’ve just met—not like a person to whom you owe an apology.

Consider it an apology tour. They will be flattered that you came to apologize, but they’ll also assume that you’re a person who’s accustomed to apologies. And it’s easy to get into the habit of apologizing to people because you enjoy making them happy.

You can get into the habit of seeking admiration and validation in the same way that women always seek someone who will complement them: You don’t have to compliment a man, but the woman who compliments him has to be someone he doesn’t already know well.

On the first date, keep it simple. You don’t have to have any prearranged hangouts or presents for your future mate or his buddies. To make a good impression, get to know the details of your partner’s work, his or her hobbies, and his or her friends. The more info you have on your date, the better. Your date will want to know whether you are the kind of person who knows who (not) to talk to about what.

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